Swingers will strongly suggest that swinging actually makes their relationships stronger but that if the communication and relationship has already broken down, sex with someone else is highly unlikely to make a difference.


Choosing between a night time romp and a morning quickie may seem like an either or situation if your life does not allow you the luxury to do both, but if you are trying to negotiate how to share out your lovemaking sessions between AM and PM, you will find that you are barking up the wrong tree.

But the solution to your sexual frustration is far easier than you think.

The solution comes in the form of an erotic book.

"It turns you on actually, when you find out she had been reading the book, but it helped you even more because it made us more comfortable to talk about our sex lives. It was easier to refer to the book and say what do you think of this story?" to your wife.


You can come up with a slight spin on a technique you find on an online dating website called a mutual appreciation technique.


Move on to the "mutual appreciation" by taking a bath - even together if you feel like it, but usually on our own just to have a bit of space between the formal planning stuff and the sexy stuff.

Then either get some wine or warm milk or something, depending on the mood, and find somewhere comfortable, anywhere in the house. Usually, if I have the bathroom first she'd use the time when I'm in there to put out some candles, music or something to set the mood but it's only as something extra once in a while.

“Most of the time we'll start off with a massage or just sitting opposite each other naked and talk, hug and stroke each other and so on."

"You know, the odd thing is we may not always have sex that evening. I would say we end up going to bed cuddling more often than having sex, but because we have taken the time to appreciate each other, sex seems to happen more often on the other days."

Think no longer think of sex as a chore we have dedicated two to three hours a week to spend quality time with each other, and because of that we seem to be able to deal with the chores better for the rest of the week.

So if you can't work out if you have the time or inclination for a night time nookie or a morning quickie, the solution is to make time to plan your family time and set aside some regular special time with your loved one.

And if you're lucky, you'll get both!